H.G. Rodgers: Aspiring Author and Triple-Threat

Something I can’t stand are the ridiculous and often offensive stereotypes about gender that society finds the need to nail into our unsuspecting minds from birth and are only to be thrown off by those smart enough to think outside the narrow social square … well, if it is narrow it is really a rectangle. These ideas start simple, like the imaginary disease “cooties”, but instil enmity between boys and girls and only serve to perpetuate the battle of the sexes which becomes more ferocious as we grow older.

Why the reference to cats and dogs? Well, I thought it was a rather fitting analogy for the social behavioural differences between boys and girls. And yes, I am using a stereotype — no matter how much I hate them they do come in handy sometimes. Most girls — like cats — can appear to be content and likeable on the surface but underneath you have to earn their respect,  otherwise they can be cold and mistrusting of everything you say (and beware the claws). Boys on the other hand — like dogs — instantly like everyone but can have territorial disputes with other boys. They feel free to trust in others so quickly because the have the ability to defend themselves emotionally by being aggressive or closing themselves down. Once trust is lost, cats or girls will find it hard to trust again (and not just trust one person but anyone that reminds them of that person) but boys and dogs jump back into relationships easily and only sometimes learn from their mistakes.  It really comes down to the use or abuse of caution. Of course, some cats are quite dog-like and some dogs are quite cat-like but in the end the majority behave in those ways.

The first incongruence I’d like to clear up is the idea that girls are somehow smarter … well, in reality we have been fed the lie — girls in particular — that the female gender is vastly superior to their apparently  incompetent male counterparts. From brains to emotions, we have been told that a girl is always better than a boy. This is possibly one of the greatest, most successful lies I have ever heard and it has been allowed to perpetuate through the convenient excuse of misogyny or the notion that “women are always right” — just a scapegoat that no one honestly believes.  I hate to break it to you girls, but men dominate both the extreme heights and depths of the intelligence ladder while the majority of girls sit in the middle. It is this that perhaps gives the illusion of superior intelligence but on average both genders’ IQ is around the same mark with men often ending a few points higher. I am highly offended, being a smart male myself, by all the ridiculous notions and jokes that are put out about all girls being smarter than all boys. Although, most of the time they just call all boys stupid and so indirectly suggest their own mediocrity is superior by default. Nice work there, you actually make yourself seem much less impressive and unapproachable in the process.

As for the arts, well, in case you didn’t know, the arts used to be quite an acceptable masculine pursuit; however, nowadays girls are seen as the superior artists. Why? Well, I assume it could have something to do with the close connection of homophobia and the arts that has become so prevalent in the collective male psyche. While it is true that there is a higher rate of gay participants in the arts at present, you’d think a straight man should still be able to function properly in their presence despite whatever reservations he may have about the gay lifestyle. Not only that, but, for some reason creativity isn’t a very acceptable way to use your mind to the hyper-masculine.

As for emotional superiority, that is just a joke. We are all humans and we all feel the same emotions. However, to use the cats and dogs analogy again, girls and cats can tend to draw out or complicate a process that a dog or a boy can find simple. Likewise, a boy or dog may trivialise that which a cat or girl could find important. If we are to blame anyone for the stuntedness of some men’s emotions, it is society. Many men fall ill of a brainwashing in their youth that tries to rationalise the idea that being stripped of any deep emotion makes you a stronger, better man. However, short of actual brainwashing, this is quite impossible, so instead they resolve to hide emotion as best they can.

This brings us to the second disparity that I wish to reconcile: illogical male bravado. For a gender that is prided on its rationality and logical thought, many men have a big problem with irrational, illogical bravado. Peer pressure takes on a whole new dimension to the terminally narrow-minded perceptions of the masculinity obsessed male (and I know enough of those). Women, although pressured to look a certain way, have so much more leeway in their most basic stereotype than a man. What’s more, if a male strays from his stereotype, those who subscribe to it discount his masculinity altogether. It saddens me so much when someone would sacrifice what makes them happy for the sake of appearances. It is highly illogical.

This bravado is possibly only really enjoyed by a handful of men while the rest of those who can’t help themselves but conform allow it to continue and slowly get sucked into the madness (I’ve seen it happen). It is the reason why some men find pleasure in risking their life or limb. It is the completely illogical and oddly metaphysical concept of overcoming the intangible; overcoming the concepts of odds, fear, and death. Granted, I don’t understand it at all because I do not subscribe to it at all. I suppose it must grant some instinctual, primal satisfaction or something. Don’t get me started on the ridiculous idea that intelligence (or lack thereof) is somehow related to your masculinity either.

When a boy does dare to be different however, the most used repercussion that in current society is to bring the boy’s sexuality into question.  A short-sighted and disrespectful retort that, again, regardless of your own opinion on the gay community, is an insult to the entire minority while effectively perpetuating the stereotype itself. Want to drink a colourful alcoholic beverage instead of beer? Well, you can’t without without it implying that you march under the rainbow flag. Don’t want to punch that person’s face or jump off that waterfall?  Too bad, looks like you must like to have sex with men. Don’t want to have sex with every obviously attractive woman you see? Don’t want a girlfriend at the moment? Feeling some sort of deep emotional infliction? Well man up! Deal with it! Better go sign the petition for your rights to love anyone you want because you are clearly gay! This not only affects the straight community but also attempts to stereotype gays; how’s that for killing two birds with one stone?

This obsession with becoming a man is quite comical to me because in the process of marginalising everything but the accepted and striving so hard to be society’s man, one looses sight of what I feel is the ultimate task of  manhood: discovering yourself, becoming yourself, and improving yourself for the betterment of yourself and the world.

In all these problems I am reminded of a single quote from the film Ever After in which Danielle quotes Thomas More’s Utopia:

“‘If you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners corrupted from infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded, Sire, but that you first make thieves and then punish them?’”